Stories of Fear To Joy in 21 Days

Maggie N. Poon

Panic – Day 1

When we arrived at the Hong Kong International Airport, the facility was converted into a makeshift pre-quarantine apparatus. We encountered a sea of personnel dressed in either blue or green plastic protective gear to guide us through numerous checkpoints to validate that we complied with the rules and regulations for returning to our hometown before taking an onsite PCR Covid Test. Given my condition with an anxiety disorder, what amounted to a two-hour wait seemed more like two days, feeling agitated, pacing up and down the aisle, sitting down, and getting up again. When our negative test results came back, we were finally allowed to go through immigration, but I was on the brink of a panic attack.

Outsider – Day 5

During Biblical times people with leprosy were societal outcasts—they were forced to live away from communities and were largely forgotten or rejected by their kinsmen. In comparison, we were faring much better despite our isolation—we had the support of family and friends.

I painted layers of impenetrable walls to depict our alienation from society. Life outside the walls was chaotic and fragmented (bottom of the canvas).

Who lives inside the walls? Hong Kong’s status as an Asian financial hub is inseparable from its colonial history and its current status as a Special Administrative Region of China. What is it like to live in a city that infuses Eastern and Western cultures?

Practice Mindful Eating – Day 9

Many people experience a love-hate relationship with food. While I was famished during quarantine due to the lack of quality meals, many people overeat to deal with stress, sadness, or rejection. Mindful eating will help you thoughtfully process what and why you eat.

Before peeling a tangerine, I placed it in my palm and used my five senses to observe it. I breathed mindfully and noted its citrus smell. Very refreshing! I looked at its round shape and nearly red-orange color. I could almost see a glow on its skin that bounced with the light. Next, I felt the coolness of the fruit in my hand. Then I slowly peeled it and placed a piece of tangerine in my mouth to chew on it softly. The tangerine was juicy and tender. Its citrus smell enhanced its flavor as its sweetness gushed into my mouth. I noticed the sound of my soft chewing reverberating in my ears, and then I swallowed the fruit. I put a second piece in my mouth and repeatedly observed its texture, smell, and taste before devouring it.

In your journal, write down any insights you got from your mindful eating exercise. Is there anything you would like to change about your eating habits?

Practice Mindfulness in Conflict Resolution – Day 10

Yat and I turned a verbal argument into a shouting match when neither would back down. We served more grievances at each other the longer we disagreed.

How to handle marital conflict when a husband and wife are trapped in a 32-square-meter space?

• Stay with the conflict at hand and do not dig up past grievances.

• Take a step back from emotionally charged complex issues.

• Do not impose morals, values, or viewpoints on your spouse.

• I apologize verbally. Yat often does it with an act of kindness.

• Appreciate irreconcilable differences and find common grounds in other areas in life.

• Meditate on irreconcilable issues with an open mind and see the issues’ larger picture.

Dying a good death – Day 20

As I mourned the loss of my aunt, I was thankful that her life had ended with little drama, no pain, no suffering. In life, she was the gentlest person I knew. Never had she spoken a bad word about anyone, nor had she held any grudges against family or friends. She lived a quiet life and died a good death in the company of loved ones.

Sadness pervaded my emotional space. With no form or image in my mind, I approached the canvas with black, dark purple, and blue shades to convey my grief. Halfway through painting, I wanted to shake up the gloomy composition. Something inside of me yearned for warmer colors. Maybe death holds multiple meanings. It marks the end of life, but it is also the beginning of something we do not yet know. I believe the eternal soul will shine even when our bodies lose their vitality.